5 Tips for parents and carers to support better youth mental health

Young people have had a challenging time in the last 18 months.

The teenage mental health charity stem4 produced some research in March this year. Almost half of parents asked said their child was experiencing mental health difficulties.

That's a third more than at the start of the pandemic.

And of course NHS mental health resources are stretched to the limit, meaning some young people are being told the wait for talking therapies is many months or even (I have been told) years.

So it's no surprise that my colleagues and I are being inundated with enquiries from desperately worried parents and carers as they see their child, teen or young adult in the grips of anxiety, depression and other issues associated with poor mental health.

Here are five tips based on the latest neuroscientific research to help you guide you’re young person’s thought processes to a more positive place.

1. Steer their thoughts to steer their feelings

Instead of asking your young person how their day has been, ask:

"What's been good?"

This immediately steers them towards positive thinking and away from the primitive, negative part of their brain which will want to share woes!

2. Don't tell them you understand

If your young person wants to share a problem, issue or feeling, let them know they have been heard but don't try to claim you understand (they probably won't believe you!). Instead say something like:

"I'm listening. I hear you. I can see this is affecting you."

3. Don't give the problem oxygen

Try not to let your young person dwell on or build up the issue too much.

Don't collude with the problem.

Neuroscience shows us that thinking and talking about a problem carves the neural pathways associated with the problem deeper and makes it harder to move on from.

4. Move them onto alternative thoughts

Instead, of dwelling on the problem, ask the young person:

"How would you like things to be?"

Even if they can't answer immediately, this simple question triggers their mind to start working on possible solutions in the background!

5. Help them identify a positive step forward

Support your young person identify a small, achievable thing they could do to get just one step closer to their vision of how they want things to be.

"What small thing could you do tomorrow that's different from today?" Remember, it has to be realistic and within their control and the idea has to come from them. Even just imagining doing something about the problem will reassure your young person that they do have some control and things can change.

And finally...

If a young person in your life is suffering with anxiety, depression, anger, school phobia, poor sleep, OCD or disordered eating, solution focused hypnotherapy is an effective way to free them of their symptoms, or the issue altogether.

I am a parent myself and I work with young people aged eight and above. I've had specific further training to enable me to do this, including training on how to work with children and young people with challenging behaviours. The wonderful thing about the therapy I offer is that young people learn how to get back in control of their thoughts and feelings, and this is a skill they will have for life! If you are curious at all, give me a call, I am always willing to hear what's going on for the child, teenager or young adult in your life and to provide helpful information if I can. I'm on 01684 355007. If I can't answer, please leave a message and I'll call you back.