How to love yourself

How do you love yourself? Do you love yourself?

People can be their own worst critics. They use negative language about themselves - out loud or in their head.

But here's the thing...

Our brain hears and absorbs all the language we use - whether it's spoken out loud or an internal narrative. And the brain doesn't differentiate between fact and fiction. It takes what it hears as reality.

And of course, people around us also hear the words we say out loud about ourselves, and they process them in the same way.

So as a therapist it's wonderful to see the virtuous cycle get underway, when people stop thinking negatively about themselves, and so stop talking negatively about themselves.

They start to focus on their achievements, their strengths. And they start doing things that are good for them. They are kind to themselves.

A sense of self worth sets in. And when we value ourselves, the people around us start to value us more too. We are more appreciated. We feel more loved.

So if you read this and think 'Yeah, I do that sometimes, give myself a hard time, don't find things to love about myself,' then...

Try this:

• Talk to yourself like you are a dear friend. What kind things would you say to them? How would you be their cheerleader?

• Write down one achievement you are proud of. It can be tiny! It's the feeling it gives you that matters.

• Do something kind for yourself, something you enjoy - gift yourself that with no strings attached!

Flip that negative self-talk to positive self-talk and love yourself.